I'm sure no one else noticed, but last week I had a moment of 'I'm kind of over being this 'heyjenrenee' person online' and the next minute I had typed a new domain name into Blogger (just for fun) and wham!! Before I knew what I had done, I had accidentally managed to delete my entire blog.
And I couldn't get it back. There was no amount of Google/Blogger help boards that could fix what I had done. If you typed in heyjenrenee.com, all you would get is a big blank error page. Gone! And after writing here for all these years (since 2006, to be exact) ... I had a moment of 'Huh. Maybe I'll just stop blogging.'
But that felt weird, too. So, for two days I fought to reclaim my domain. So to speak. I had to get it back. I didn't want it to end. And after two days of reading all about 404 errors on Google + CNAMES on help boards, I figured it out. I held my breath, plugged in a bunch of numbers that I didn't understand, waited an hour for my DNS settings to activate and I was back. I was stoked. I got my blog back.
Why am I telling you this? I've been asking myself why I'm blogging. Again. (I've done this before.) I'm re-evaluating things. I'm going through a major re-design of this lovely space that I lost and then worked so hard to get back. It's going to be better. And eventually, HeyJenRenee may redirect you to a new blog with a new name. Or it may not. Either way, it will still be me. Just Jen. Still here. Why am I here? Because I enjoy being here. Because I can't stop now.
Sabrina Ward Harrison said it far better than I ever could.
'I believe we must create what we most need to find. I don't aim for pretty, I aim for release. We have to make room for our life in progress. As women, we must be heard along the way. We must share how it really feels, what we know but can't place. We must take a deeper breath and let go. Trust yourself. Leave ripples.'