When I lose focus on myself I lose focus on everything. I sort of flail around. I'm pretty good at flailing and I feel like I've been doing it for awhile on repeat. I flail around the house, cleaning up little messes and changing diapers and filling up cups of milk and picking up Cheerios off the floor and brushing little teeth and reading stories and giving back rubs and singing silly bedtime songs and stumbling out of bed at 3 am to rock a crying babe. I'm sure a lot of people can relate. It never stops and I truly love it but sometimes I just need a breather. It's busy up in here. Up until recently, my free time was spent staying up too late each night and working on stuff. Some of it was necessary stuff. Work stuff, freelance stuff ... but basically, I was sitting on my ass. It wasn't doing my mind or body a whole lot of good. I didn't realize how refreshing it would be to take an hour away from the chaos of my home and do something just for me. Until I did it.
I have been going to yoga classes for a couple of weeks now and I feel like I'm awake. I'm breathing more deeply, stretching out sore muscles each morning and clearing my mind each night. It feels so good. I'm starting out slow and going at my own pace, especially since the studio I go to specializes in heated power yoga which is truly a new experience for me. I didn't think I would have time for this, but I'm realizing that I have time if I make time. I didn't expect to love it, but I really think I love it.
I'm enjoying the headspace, enjoying the quiet. Enjoying my instructors' awesome playlists and motivating words of encouragement. I'm enjoying my journey inward and my time with just me. If I can be a better me, I can be better to everyone around me.