momlove: tina

In celebration of Mother's Day, I invite you to indulge in a little momlove, a series of guest blog posts by the best of the best. I've invited some of my very favorite blogger moms to share a little bit of their wisdom and experience here.

Meet my friend Tina. 

Having just returned from a short trip to Portland, I have to say the best advice I can give as a WAHM in the creative field is to take time for yourself and go discover something new. 

I'm always reluctant to travel myself, leaving my 2 1/2 year old son home with my husband. I felt a terrible guilt about taking a trip that was close to being out of our means and even guiltier for leaving my family behind. Yep, good ol' mommy guilt. Even after I landed in Portland, the guilt stayed with me. I missed them terribly. But after settling in to my hotel room and enjoying a good cup of jo' with my friend who I met down there, I was ready to discover the sites + sounds that PDX had to offer. I also had another mission while there...to reunite with my mom who I haven't seen in over 20 years. I covered a lot of ground on my trip, physically and mentally. Overall, it was one of the best trips I've had and I'm so glad I didn't let my guilt deter me from enjoying myself.

I came back a better mom, wife, creative and most importantly, a better me. It starts within us...the secret of being a good mom. We have to be alone with our own thoughts, free from those daily distractions like the sound of Nick Jr playing in the background while you hear "mommy, mommy, mommy" for the millionth time that day. We give so much of ourselves every day...every moment. It's important to replenish that so we can continue to give our children what they need and deserve and that's a happy mom. 

Yes! So good and so true. I love this and I love Tina. She is always an inspiration to me, as a friend and a mother and human being. Tina and I are Dares girls. She's talented as can be and I'm always in awe of her photography and design work. She's honest and real and since we're separated by many many miles (she lives in Alaska) I love reading what she's up to on her blog and via our sporadic 'hey, how are you doing/what's new?' emails. She is awesome and I hope we can get together for a 'taking time for yourself' getaway again soon ... the last time we hung out was in L.A. a few years ago and I'm definitely ready for more hangout time with this girl. (Mom-guilt free!) Read more about life with Tina on her blog, Life.Love.Paper.

momlove: vee

In celebration of Mother's Day this weekend, I invite you to indulge in a little momlove, a series of guest blog posts by the best of the best. I've invited some of my very favorite blogger moms to share a little bit of their wisdom and experience here.

Meet my friend Vee.

I think the best thing that I realized early on almost thirteen years ago is to accept and be confident in yourself as a mother. Motherhood is a lot more enjoyable (for me) and carefree by enjoying the process (even the mistakes) and becoming stronger with who you are daily. It will be the hardest yet most rewarding job you will ever have but it is not a fairy tale ... it's better! Do not let your perceived inabilities to be like mommy x inhibit your personal abilities of being a great mom to your child(ren). Create your own path of life with them where you lay the foundation to your life together, memories and make them your reality. In reality you are not perfect and trying to be perfect leads to self doubt. I feel this is one area in life where you can be confident without feeling guilty about it because being a mother is prideful. Children notice even the smallest detail of your character when you think they aren't aware.

Creating a home life that is truthful and a haven for them to be themselves is one thing I strive for my children.  I want them to be able to be confident in themselves and be able to make new exciting memories as well as continue my family traditions. Sometimes your reality is that you learn that your childhood was actually not that bad and you want to take those memories and you want to continue the cycle. I love that about motherhood, the circle of love, life and memories.

In reality you are never truly prepared at how fast time moves or at how fast they grow. Everyday is a marvel and everyday will not be easy or perfect.

Learn to let go and accept help when offered because even mommy needs a break sometimes. It is good for you which means it is definitely good for them, which equals harmony. 

Vee and I go way back. How far, I'm not exactly sure. We're both Dares girls, crafty comrades and mommas. We've taken some fantastic trips together, from L.A. to N.Y.C. and I consider her a dear friend. She's sweet and authentic and I love her style. Even more, I love her approach to motherhood and her words here are so completely right-on. Read more about Vee on her blog, Creative Blessing.

momlove: bergen

In celebration of Mother's Day later this month, I invite you to indulge in a little momlove, a series of guest blog posts by the best of the best. I've invited some of my very favorite blogger moms to share a little bit of their wisdom and experience here.

Meet my friend Bergen.

 

Before I had my daughter, Johanna, I swore to myself that I would not change after we had our baby. I have always been fiercely independent, and it was important to me to maintain my sense of individuality and not to get lost in motherhood. I would not just become Jo’s mama – I would also maintain my identity as Bergen.  

Jo is 18 months old now and so much in my life has changed. My relationships with others have changed. My social activities have definitely changed. I have changed in many ways. I’ve also stayed the same. It’s like saying everything is different – and nothing is different. 

Of course, I’m still me. Still fiercely independent. Still deeply creative. Still extremely motivated. But being a mother has unlocked something in me. Having Jo has changed me in so many ways that I never would have expected. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

And all of a sudden as I write this, I’m weeping. My mama has said that Jo did that to me. She says that Jo has softened me. Taken the edge off. Not that I was super hard before Jo, but I definitely had walls up. My experiences as a mother have peeled away layers that make my emotions so much closer to the surface. It’s not that I feel more, but I feel everything differently. I’ve also learned to be less judgmental. I have more patience – with myself and with others.  Motherhood has opened me up. 

And I’m going through something right now because of where we’re at as a family that might never have happened had I not become a mother. Something is happening. Something really really good. 

I cut all my hair off recently, for one thing. Not huge in the scope of life, but a big deal for me since my hair has been long for most of my adult life. It’s been important to me. It was a part of who I was. And now that it’s gone I feel lighter, refreshed, and renewed. It’s as if my energy has shifted just because of that one simple change. 

On a larger scale, the big news is that I’ve decided to quit my job. I’ve been working a fabulous job as a community manager for the past 4 ½ years, and now I’m ready to move on. I’ll still be working, but I’m going to be putting my energy and time and commitment into my passions: my daughter & family, my theatre company, my acting career, and my Etsy store. It’s a big risk, but one that I feel is the right move for me, and more importantly, my family. And it’s pretty damn exciting. 

So yeah, I guess I have changed. And I’m still the same. And I couldn’t be more excited to see what opens up next. 

 

Bergen and I went to high school together and she was a grade behind me. I didn't know her very well then, but we have sort of found each other in recent years through the loveliness of the internet. These days, I am proud to call her a long-distance friend. She's a creative force, an incredible mother and a true inspiration. And her openness here? That made me a little weepy, too. Read more on Bergen's blog, Ashland and Winona. And while you're at it, you must check out her fantastic Etsy shop, Lilla Barn, where she sews the most adorable baby/toddler clothes you've ever seen.

momlove: danielle

In celebration of Mother's Day later this month, I invite you to indulge in a little momlove, a series of guest blog posts by the best of the best. I've invited some of my very favorite blogger moms to share a little bit of their wisdom and experience here.

Meet my friend Danielle.

Balance is a word I have as my family mantra.

There are times when I have cut TV and electronics out completely from our lives that are accompanied with heavy sighs and loud protests. Then, before I know it we’re back to too many hours a week of video games and Disney shows. There are times when I have used the mama card to demand an all organic, no sugar, no fast food, no processed food diet for my family, to suddenly realize one day we’ve ordered fast food three times that week. 

There are times I feel like a failure as a mother.  I have felt embarrassment over something my daughter has repeated in a playgroup, the copious amounts of dog hair on the floor, the eyebrow raises when I mention due to my husband being a corporate gypsy we have moved just a few times over the years, “Well, isn’t that hard on your children, moving so many times?” I answer, “Yes.” As always, I feel that terrible guilt roll over me like a wave.  

Then I have to remind myself that my daughters have learned another language living abroad, they have seen and experienced parts of the world others might never; climbed pyramids, rode a bike across the Golden Gate Bridge, viewed the Paris skyline high up upon the Eiffel Tower, had high tea in the Brown Hotel in London, had lunch at the feet of the Statue of Liberty and toured Betsy Ross’ house. I feel these experiences have shaped them into adventure-loving, adaptable, confident young girls. Then I feel like I am doing something right.  

It’s about finding balance. Time to cuddle, time for hard love.  Time for just one more TV show, time for lights out. Time for ice cream and time for more veggies. 

I am not perfect, I don’t claim to be, but I do strive for balance, some sort of normalcy and order. Do I get it right every day? No. No, I do not.  But I will keep trying to balance what I think is good for us, like organic strawberries over conventional, and cheat on the other things, like frozen yogurt three times this week. Oh well, c'est la vie, right?

Danielle is a beautiful, talented and lovely friend of mine. She's also a mom I look up to. She's got it together. She has two brilliant and gorgeous daughters. She and her family have lived all over the U.S. and abroad. They travel, live life to the fullest and are always in the middle of a new adventure. Check out her blog, Splendid.